eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
