I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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