only if we run a train.
done.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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