Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
