There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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