Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
