Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
