ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
