Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
