Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
