I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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