Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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