69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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