i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
