I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
