So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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