Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
