They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
