Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
