Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
