whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
