I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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