just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
