And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
