If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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