I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
