I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
