Me too!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
