Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
