last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
