I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
