i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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