"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
