is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
