he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think my fart just growled at me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
