when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
