I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
