some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
