My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
