I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She bit a glass in half.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
