Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
