At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
