i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sobbing to NWA
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
