You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
