So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
