Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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