Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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