I've blown a few things in my day
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
