We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
