I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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