It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
